Thursday, November 22, 2007

thoughts from the veranda

I have been spending a week in Friburgo and four days now I have been totally alone. It can be a period of vast 'aloneness' and at moments, that feeling is almost debilitating. (Don't tell Camillo, but yesterday I spent the day in my pjs and only ate popcorn and watermelon) Today as you can tell I am much better. The hardest part of living in a foreign country is that your family is not here. Their days are abstract for you, not real, not involved. My mother is 86 years old and beginning to fail. I should be there, talking, laughing, enjoying her. My grandson will graduate from high school this coming June. I may not be there. He competes in motocross and I have seen only one competition (I have to be honest I won't go to another - I can't stand it) My Granddaughter, in this photo with my mother when she was five, is now going to be 12. I don't have a photo of her from the past year. What is their life, Their thoughts, Who are they now? No matter how beautiful the view, no matter how many churrascos you enjoy with friends, this is what you miss when you are alone in a foreign land.

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